"When I was interviewing couples, a single word kept coming up again and again. So many people said it that I actually started to worry about the couples who didn't say it. The word was "comfortable."I feel a sense of ease with this person that I have never felt before. I feel like I'm totally myself. I don't feel worried. It feels natural." Comfort doesn't mean there aren't sparks and butterflies, too; it just means that underlying all of it is this sense that you've found a person you can let loose with, the way you are with friends and family. You don't have to suck in your stomach. You can be your most unkempt, crazy, neurotic, imperfect self." - Ellen McCarthy, interviewing hundreds of couples about their relationships.
20 years ago Dave and I did the easiest thing we would ever do in our relationship: get married. We got dressed up in our fancy clothes, promised each other some things we didn't really know anything about in front of our closest friends and family, and took a lot of pictures. We opened some gifts like a quilt made by his grandmother and some white dishes my brothers and sisters all pitched in to offer us. And then we drove away from all those people that we love who had gathered to wish us well on our journey.
Today we are off in a foreign land, exploring and experiencing something new together. I am so grateful for 20 years of time - paying bills, doing chores, changing the diapers of our babies, crying over our failures and mistakes - and laughing, watching movies, dancing in the kitchen, visiting foreign lands, listening to music together on the couch while the sun shines-or doesn't. So much music, so many songs that take me through the minutes, days, months and years together to remind me of this beautiful mess we are living together.
For Dave, my mess is yours, and your mess is mine.